Rhythm of the Heart
by YanksLuver
Summary: Sydney discovers a new side to her mother and struggles with the emotions it creates. She turns to Vaughn for comfort and answers, which leads to a surprising moment for the two.


Title: Rhythm of the Heart  
  
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)  
  
Category: Drama/Romance  
  
Pairings: Sydney/Vaughn  
  
Summary: Sydney discovers a new side to her mother and struggles with the emotions it creates. She turns to Vaughn for comfort and answers, which leads to a surprising moment for the two.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.  
  
Spoilers: "The Confession".  
  
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong tome. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.  
  
Note: This is just a short little thing that wouldn't stop bothering me until I wrote it. Hope you enjoy : ) ~Steph  
  
* * * Rhythm of the Heart 1/1* * *  
  
Sydney leaned on the railing of the pier, looking out at the water. The lights from the ferris wheel at the end of the pier reflected back off the water, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that fascinated her to no end.  
  
She was waiting for him. This had become "their spot" for whenever she just needed to talk. Discuss her father, her mother. Anything that she couldn't tell Francie and Will, no matter how much she wished she could.  
  
She was entranced by the water and didn't hear him approach her from behind.  
  
"Hey."  
  
She spun around to face him and was surprised to find that he was only a few feet away. However, she was even more surprised to see what he was wearing.  
  
He was impeccably dressed in a classic tuxedo. It fit him so well that she could have sworn it was made just for him.  
  
His hair was tousled just the right amount and his lips were curled into a lopsided grin. He had placed his hands in the pockets of his pants, which gave him a debonair, carefree air that reminded her of Cary Grant or Dean Martin in nearly every movie they'd ever made.  
  
Vaughn noticed her stare and glanced down at his attire. He looked back up at her, while gesturing to it, "Oh, this? Evening wedding. Black tie required."  
  
Sydney's eyes widened and she immediately felt guilty for asking him to come.  
  
What's funny, she thought, is that he didn't even hesitate one moment when she'd called.  
  
She shook her head, "I am so sorry, Vaughn. I had no idea. I never would have asked you to come if I had known."  
  
He shrugged, "Ah, don't worry about it. You actually did me a favor. You spared me one more torturous moment of boring conversations, snobby people, crappy food and loud, bad music. Plus, they were just about to start the Bunny Hop and I wasn't about to get roped into that. I don't hop for anyone."  
  
Sydney chuckled, the image of Vaughn hopping briefly flashing through her mind.  
  
Her expression soon turned serious again. "I really am sorry. I shouldn't just call you like that. I disrupted your whole evening, torturous or not."  
  
Vaughn met her eyes, his voice soft and sincere, "I don't want you to ever feel sorry for needing to talk, Sydney. I don't know what it's like to have lived through what you have and to have no one to talk to about it. I know I'm not Francie or that journalist guy-..."  
  
"Will," she filled in for him.  
  
"...but I'm all you have and I'm more than happy to fill the position," he finished with a warm smile that she couldn't help but return.  
  
Sydney eyed him thoughtfully for a moment before asking hesitantly, "So...You went to the wedding solo tonight?"  
  
Vaughn's eyes grew large and his mouth dropped open. "My date!"  
  
Sydney's brow furrowed, "What about your date?"  
  
Vaughn groaned and rubbed at his forehead, "I forgot her."  
  
"What do you mean you forgot her?"  
  
"I left her at the wedding. I didn't tell her I was leaving."  
  
Sydney stifled a laugh. "You just forgot all about her?"  
  
Vaughn nodded, a bit of a blush creeping into his cheeks. "She was in the ladies' room when you called and I...I just forgot about her."  
  
Sydney couldn't help herself and laughed. "I guess you can kiss that relationship good-bye."  
  
Vaughn smiled and laughed in spite of himself, "Yeah, I'm thinking tonight won't earn me a second date."  
  
He paused, his eyes now meeting hers. His voice turned abruptly serious, "It's just that when you called...All I could think about was getting to you."  
  
Sydney averted her eyes, his piercing gaze too much for her to handle.  
  
She was having mixed emotions. On one hand, she felt terribly guilty for ruining his date's night and leaving her stranded. But, on the other, more appealing hand, she was incredibly happy that he would just drop everything and come to her.  
  
Vaughn spoke, causing her to raise her head. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"  
  
Sydney sighed and began slowly, "I was cleaning out one of my closets today and I found something that belonged to my mother. It was a baby journal that she kept about me. She began it the day she found out she was pregnant and wrote in it daily until I turned three...Never missed one day."  
  
Vaughn watched various emotions flash across Sydney's face as he listened. There were flickers of happiness, sadness, confusion and anger that mixed together to form the countenance of a conflicted young woman.  
  
She lowered her eyes and stared at her hands as she continued, "It...it was amazing. She wrote about everything. How happy she was when she found out she was pregnant...Her fears, doubts and concerns about becoming a mother...All my firsts...The first time I kicked...My birth and the first time she held me...The first time I smiled...The first time I rolled over...The first time I crawled...My first step...My first word," her voice grew heavy and Vaughn could tell she was fighting the urge to cry.  
  
She lifted her head up and met his eyes, the tone of her voice almost urgent and desperate, "That was the mother I knew, Vaughn. The caring, loving mother who would leave me notes in my lunch box and check under my bed for monsters. And this journal...It's proof that I wasn't seeing her through rose-colored glasses. It wasn't a child's innocent, naïve love that put her up on that pedestal. She wrote these words and she didn't have to."  
  
Sydney shook her head and wiped away a tear from her cheek that had somehow escaped. "I was just starting to accept my mother for who she really was. I was just beginning to understand and make peace with the fact that she wasn't the woman I thought she was. That she was a murderer, who married my father as a part of her job...Who started a family for the same reason. Then I read this journal. And now I don't know what to think. Maybe she planned on having a family as a part of the ruse, but somewhere along the line I think I became real to her."  
  
Vaughn had listened intently to every word Sydney had said. When she stopped and looked at him with pleading eyes, he knew it was time to speak.  
  
"Maybe you were the only part of her life that was right and true, Sydney."  
  
She shook her head, "I just don't know how to feel about her."  
  
Vaughn's eyes captured hers, "Look, I can't tell you how to feel, but, for better or for worse, she was still your mother. You'll never be able to forget the terrible things she did, but that doesn't mean you can't remember the good things she did for you, too. Those memories you have are real. They happened. Those words in that journal are real. I just don't think that you have to see your mother in all black or in all white."  
  
Sydney studied him for a long moment before asking softly, "How do you do that?"  
  
Vaughn's expression turned quizzical, "Do what?"  
  
"How do you put a positive spin on everything? How do you stand there and tell me that it's okay to love my mother and remember the good things she did when you know she killed your father?"  
  
Vaughn lowered his eyes and responded in a low voice. "My father left quite a legacy, Sydney. I am full of wonderful memories of times we spent together. I've met countless people who have told me what a great man he was and how he helped them in one way or another. I never had to question the memory of the parent I lost. You have and I couldn't possibly know what that's like. I just don't see why you should have to lose anymore than you already have."  
  
Sydney smiled, as Vaughn met her eyes. "Thank you."  
  
She quickly lowered her eyes and looked down at her fingers. "There was this one time...I can remember it so clearly. I must have been about five. I walked into the living room and found my mother and father slowly dancing around the room. My father had his hands wrapped around her waist and my mother's fingers were linked behind his neck. They were just staring into each other's eyes and swaying back and forth. It was like there was no one else in the world except them." She stopped and then continued in a softer voice. "What was weird is that there was no music."  
  
She smiled and looked up at him, the wistfulness the memory provided shining in her eyes. "When they finally noticed me, I asked my mother why they were dancing when there was no music."  
  
Sydney paused and removed her eyes from his. She focused on a tree in the background. "I can still remember what she said till this day. I can hear her words so clearly in my head it's like she's whispering them in my ear. She smiled and said, 'Sydney, when you're with the one you're meant to be with forever, you don't need music. All you need is each other.'"  
  
Sydney refocused her gaze on a trash can. "I'm not even really sure why I remember that whole thing. Maybe it's because that's one of the few memories I have of my parents looking happy together...Maybe it's because it was such a wonderful, motherly thing to tell your daughter...Maybe it's because I want to believe she meant those words...Maybe it's because they looked so in love and she looked so safe in his arms." Sydney paused and swallowed hard before continuing, "But it wasn't a physical kind of safe, it was like an emotional safe...Like she could trust him with her heart and her soul...Like when she was with him she could say so much without ever saying a word."  
  
Sydney couldn't help but meet his eyes as she went on, her voice growing softer, "I guess I always wanted that for myself...To find that special someone who makes you see that you don't need music to dance and feeling safe is something you get by looking into that person's eyes."  
  
Vaughn's eyes slowly scanned her face, an awkward, unsure expression taking over his countenance. He licked his lips and stepped forward in a robotic, almost jerky motion.  
  
The next day he wouldn't be able to tell you why he'd done it or if he'd do it again if given the chance to relive the moment.  
  
Maybe he just wanted her to feel safe for even the briefest of moments.  
  
Maybe he hoped he could give her that one, seemingly simple thing.  
  
Maybe he thought she deserved that and so much more.  
  
Maybe he wanted to be that person for her.  
  
But the only thing he knew for sure was that he couldn't help himself and that nothing had ever felt so right.  
  
He closed the distance between them by tentatively wrapping his arms around her waist.  
  
Sydney was shocked by his bold move, but powerless to resist it.  
  
Instead, she simply surrendered and linked her fingers behind his neck, her eyes connecting with his in a piercing gaze.  
  
And, for the first time in far too long, she felt safe. Completely safe.  
  
There they stood, bodies swaying back and forth, the rhythm of their beating hearts providing all the music they needed.  
  
There they stood, faces bathed in moonlight and bodies silhouettes against a background of flashing colors created by the ferris wheel.  
  
Neither of them knew what tomorrow would bring, but for one night and for a few perfect moments, everything seemed right in the world.  
  
******************************THE END*****************************  
  
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought! ~Steph 


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